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Monday, June 25, 2007
Toss & Turn

Been unable to sleep again.
Toss and turn and still not able to get to sleep.
Much as I would love to turn in.
But the moment I close my eyes,
The images just play in front of me.
For I know if I still don't sleep
Then it's bad for my health and bad for my concentration.

I just can't help it.
The image just keep playing.
It is not of any fantasy images but the tears rolling down the corner of Pa's eyes.
This is second time this month that I have seen it.
Have tried to ask him what had happened but he just won't tell me.
That's what make me even more worried.
With his mood swing now - I'm just feeling more uncomfortable.
Am afraid that his mind will run wild and think of silly things.

Mum........If you are around me now......
Please tell me what should I do?
This arithmetic problems is getting more and more complicated now.
I am just finding clueless to any lead to find a solution.
For I probably would have guessed what's happening...
But I don't wanna stir the sediments and create more issues now.
Just in a dilemma as to what should I do.
And I am also getting very very tired in solving this arithmetic problem.
But I know I have to continue to try to solve it for your sake.

Maid has been deported.
Was told she had been under performing lately.
Telling lies and been in bad companies.
Eversince she had her Off Day.
Would have expected such things to happen.
Had observe it for myself.
She had been dolling up herself and wear pretty clothes.
Not concentrating and on the SMS most of the time secretly.
When ask her to errands she would take longer than expected to return.

Now with the maid deported.
Not sure how things would turn out.
Just have to pray hard that the table would turn around.

Posted at 3:31:41 am by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Friday, June 22, 2007
Dare To Dream

This is something that I believe.
When you dare to dream - one day you will make it.
I present you my idol - Paul Potts.
Give me your first impression of him.
What do you think of him when he came on stage for his audition?



What do you think of him now?
This is his semi-final round.
Listen to what he said about himself.


This is his final round.
Listen to what the judges have to say about him.



This is the kind of person that people always take for granted.
Not that he is not talented but being less confident and modest.
So long as we dare to dream we will definitely be able to make it one day.
Paul you have my support and I believe in myself too.
Thank you for showing me the way to believe in myself.


Posted at 2:03:14 am by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Saturday, June 09, 2007
Another Lesson In Life

This week hasn't been a great week in life.
For I have learn another important lesson in life.
It is not a very pleasant lesson but I think it is a good lesson.
I have now understand this Chinese proverb clearly.

人不为己 天诛地灭
(Literally translated: One has to safeguard & do for the sake of oneself else one will suffer eternal perdition)
I now believe how true this is.

For two over years I have been unconditionally giving my best.
Not for the sake of myself but with a gratitude for having a job.
With the thanks for providing me a job when I needed it most.
I put in time and effort to help build the system.
Try to improve the strain relationship that Boss had with all the staffs.
All because of his temperamental behaviour.
Everytime he throw his unreasonable temper or tantrum on the staffs.
I would try to be the middleman to help mend the relationship between them.
By putting in a good word for him so that the working environment is not strain.
Time and time again he took it for granted that he is always right.
His behaviour is getting from bad to worst.
I have been keeping the lowest profile of all.
For I understand and know his characteristic so try to avoid a clash.

But this week has been bad that he's trying to provoke me.
Yelling and scolding at me over a distance of 100m away.
For problem that wasn't even my fault and of which I try to help solve.
Which was actually his own doing.
Everyone around the circumference or range was looking at me with a stare.
It really make me feel bad and not knowing where to put my face.
People that don't know had thought what I had done wrong.
At that moment I rationally stomach the humiliation and get the problem solve.
Got the problem solved for Him and was waiting at least a word of Thanks.
Not a single word but still with a sulky face and no action of remorse.

That had me on fire now.
I can't stomach this humiliation just like that.
For I have my dignity too.
I march straight into Big Boss office asking for a fair verdict on this.
Told Big Boss that I would prefer for a transfer to make my life better.
Just can't take this kinda temperamental behaviour anymore.
(Anyway his tempermental is a known fact to Big Boss for a long time).
Not once for such humiliation but many smaller one that I can forgive.
Big Boss said he would look into the matter.

Went on two days of rest days.
Came back to work.
Nothing seem to happen so I took it as usual.
But Boss attitude toward me had changed.
Been a little hostile and the words are little heavier.
I didn't want to pick a fight on all this petty little action.
So had been ignoring his petty behaviour.
Things got bad when he found some small issue to pick a challenge on me.
It is just that he didn't have me to explain the situation and again jump the gun.
(Again I wasn't in the wrong - it's just that someone didn't pass my message).
His conclusion is that I am not interested in working here so get the hell out of his section.

He march me with him to Big Boss office.
I know things have sour this time.
Even before I could say anything -
Big Boss give me a utterly disappointed decision.
"Things had come to this state, I think I will transfer you to XX section because someone had just resigned....."
What the hell is all this about?
(Hey! You idiots just didn't care about my feeling....)
I ask Big Boss, " Now what have I done wrong and the table seem to have overturn?"
"It is now as though I am the problematic one in this tussle?"
Big Boss just try to avoid this question by giving lame excuses,
"I am not good at words....blah blah blah....I think it is good for you since you ask for a transfer....blah blah blah....".
"I am not saying or thinking whose right or wrong but let's not strain the relationship here.....Let's continue to work as a team...."
Oh my ass! What nonesense is this? Now I am totally victimise.
Where's my dignity?
(By the way)
The damn ass Boss was sitting beside with that none remorseful attitude.
Said a word or two...
"It is my management style....blah blah blah.....".
"Since you ask for a transfer, permission granted immediately...."

THIS IS UTTERLY DISAPPOINTMENT AND DISGRACE.........................................

Anyway I am alright.....Nothing will make me fall anymore.
I have grown stronger over these years.
This is just only a little setback.
I will take it and I will learn this good lesson in life.
Will put this new lesson in another chapter of my life.
I will rise again.
And when I rise I will be walking even taller than before.
I will make sure the midget will have to look up on me.
I am not into any revenge for sure but prove myself.
I can be even better than what they think I am.



Posted at 10:48:42 am by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Sunday, May 27, 2007
Dad's Health

Got back home after visited Dad and had dinner with him.
His health is deteriorating by the days.
It is detriorating at a rate that is faster than I thought it would be.
From his outlook I can see that he is loosing lots of weights.
Especially over these two weeks when he is unwell.
Not only I am seeing that - even aunt is saying that too.
(She happen to visit Dad today)
The nurse is observing that too when I fetch him for his review.

Since he was warded the last few weeks ago.
Eversince he came home from the hospital.
He is getting weaker and weaker each day.
Now he needs the support of others to move around at time.
Getting up from the sitting or sleeping position seem tougher.
He needed more time and effort to do it.
As he has been complaining of giddiness and nausea.
That could be due to low blood pressure which I suspect.
Probably the anti-biotic that he had been taking weaken his system.
Would love to see him improve in his health by staying optimistic.
But the reality isn't as optimistic.
He himself has been setting negativity mindset.
Has been sprouting lots of negative remarks lately.
That isn't going to help him - instead will do more harm.

I am just crossing my finger and praying hard for his recovery.

Posted at 10:30:25 pm by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Friday, May 11, 2007
Save the Earth

The weather is getting very harsh these days,
The ray of the Sun is really burning the skin,
The heat is getting more and more unbearable,
Drought and heatwave are creating havoc for many,
Water catchment drying up, Snowy mountain and Ice-berg melting,
Living organism, animals and creatures habitats are destroyed,
The forest, trees, plants and shrubs are disappearing,
The sea level will be rising and flooding our civilisation.
Many many more scenerio can be thought of and will happen.

All because of us - human.
We are destroying the land, the Planet Earth that we live on.
We want to advance in term of civilisation but at the expense of the Earth.
Can we not at the expense of the Earth but still advance?

Let us all just do a little a day to Save The Earth.
Reduce the wastage of energy and resources,
Reuse the resources that we have,
Recycle the waste that we dump everyday.
Be clean and green about the environment.
In that way only can we start to see a change in our weather.
My appeal to all human being on this mother Earth.

I have started to do my little everyday for a long time,
but have told myself to do more these days.
Shop at the supermarket with my own carrier bags these days.
For I buy all that I would need and fill the bag that I have.
That has also force me to stop buying unnecessary foods and stuffs
which would go to waste and rot due to overbuying.
I reuse the bag and recycle the container as much as I could etc.
That has help to save on the resources we have.
If the supermarket can also reciprocate those that help to save the earth
by giving a small token of appreciation in a rebate or small discount.
I would forsee more people will start the drive by reduce, reuse and recycle.
One hand will not clap - it needs both hands to clap.
So the commercial world don't just think about only making $$$$$$$.
By starting this little campaign will not only save them $$$$$$
on expenditure on the materials.
At the same time it will bring in the crowd more often.
Like I used to do my groceries once a week or even once a month.
Now I do it like twice a week to get the things I needed often.
Isn't it a WIN-WIN situation for all?



Posted at 7:27:31 pm by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Thursday, April 19, 2007
Under the sea...

Hi friends and readers.....
It's been a long long time since I last update.
For I have been on land for too long now.
So I will disappear for the next three days to go under the sea.
As you would have guess so....

I am going DIVING.
Just need that sea-water to revive me....Wink
It's been a long time that I last dive.
Long for the peaceful moment down under the sea.
Swim with the fishes, feel the streamline of the current flow...
Have to have that before the unwelcoming shift patterns.

It's been told that the new shift pattern will start 28th May.
Well just have to review it to see if I can cope with the changes.
Working till 0115 hrs is really really making me a very unhappy guy.
Anyway shall see...

Meantime just enjoy my DIVE........
Will update again once back from the trip.

Posted at 10:58:24 pm by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Saturday, February 17, 2007
Gong Xi Fa Cai (恭喜发财)

Wishing all a Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year.
Gong Xi Fa Cai  (恭喜发财).

Have not been blogging for a while.
This will be a 1st update for this year.
Been rather busy and tight scheduled over the last year.
With the few days of the Lunar New Year,
Been able to get away for these few days.
It's a pleasure to have a good rest
before another busy year ahead.

Over the last two over months been doing spring cleaning
and coping with the heavy workload.
It had really worn me out.
But the result of doing spring cleaning earlier had
in fact given me the satisfaction and great feeling this year.
No more last minute spring cleaning.
Which had me completely drain out almost every year.
As there were too much to do but too little a time to spend.
Have relocated all my furnishing and am pretty happy
with the new arrangement.
Also I have tried my hand on renewing some paint work.
Below are some pictures of new layout for my home sweet home.

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This year I have also bought myself a present - an oven.
It is something that I have long to have but never invested in.
So with the new simple oven I have tried my hand in baking.
Especially so for this Lunar New Year.
Pineapple Tart - my favorite goodies.
Although it is still not up to standard but at least it's edible.
Not bad for a first try without any baking experience.
Will continue to try and come out with more goodies.
This is the end result of my product.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

There are so many things that I would want to achieve for 2007.
But I will focus on the many few that will be achievable first.
As I know my time is running shorter and shorter before retirement.
Hence I have to achieve more than I have planned for.
Else I will not be able to achieve my targets.

At work there will be a big wave of changes coming this April.
Shift hours will be changed, working partners will be changed,
Corporate culture is changing, workload is changing,
workers attitude are changing, peers and subordinates feeling are changing.......
All I can feel is the mount of hurdles ahead of me.
I know many of that aren't in my courtyard but still I have to face it.
"Just do it" like NIKE does.
Hoping that the change in shift hours will not affect my health much.
As the working hours and shift pattern is a little of concern to me.
Having the biological clock switch like a toggle switch is no joke to health.
But the company is just too adamant on the shift pattern without any
ground of negotiation.
Even though a more logical counter proposal had been presented.
Anyway I will try to adapt but if things don't work out then it will be bye-bye.
I would want my health and not sacrificing my health.
Health is all I have for once so it's more important than having a job anytime.
Maybe that's the Kiasi attitude that I have adapted over the years...Smile
Having travelled so much and seen so much.
I think that's not so much about Kiasi (afraid to die) but about the value of life.
Have witness my mum's death, have seen the people elsewhere appreciating
the value of life even though they have nothing.
We all can still live happily with the minimum comfort.
It's all in us that drive us nuts about the value of life - Kiasu.
Not stating the fact that kiasu (afraid to loose out) isn't good but to an extent.

Health will be a top priority in my 2007 schedule.
Have just joined a club to get myself to keep fit and stay healthy.
It will be within a throw of where I am staying.
Probably that's a motivation and morale booster for me to workout.
As I have the problem of perspiring profusely after working out.
Hence, the trouble of taking public tansport around with that sweaty "aroma".
It not just yaks others but making me uncomfortable too.
Keeping my finger cross that I can keep to my schedule and not affected
by other happening.
For I know - everytime I am very serious about doing something - there
bound to have something happen and prevent me from doing it.

Also stated in The Year of the Golden Pig horoscope -
Have cross path with Tai Sui - so must appease Tai Sui this year.
Health will be a top priority for me.
Work will be a little eventful this year.
Financially will be on the rock if not careful with spending and investment.
Socially will have misunderstanding among friends.
Hence, will maintain a low profile for The Year of the Golden Pig.

Posted at 1:54:19 pm by chatpolka
Comments (2)  

Saturday, December 02, 2006
WORK MADE ME SICK....

Oh no! I have finally work myself so hard that I'm sick now.
Been a week now that I've been coughing badly.
Seen a doctor but still didn't get it cure.
Have tried all kinda herb and medicine but it doesn't seem to improve.
Worst of all the cough mixture made me feel even more lousy.

Look like I have to take a break from work.
Much as I would love to....
But the meagre manpower currently I have and
the mountain high workload is drowning me over the head.

Don't even dare to think of the yet to confirm new shift.
It's been rumours that it would be three shifts, while others
say that it would be work two rest two......etc.
So many versions of it.
The manpower will be definitely leaner than before.
Working pace will be even more hectic.

Anyway I'll see how it will turn out next year.
If things are worst than what I would expect
Then I'll have to have myself prepared.
It seem like the lifespan in a company is getting shorter.
However, if the situation isn't as bad then I might stay a little longer.

Well....just gonna laze for a few days.
Get away from this mundane issues and get well soon.

Posted at 12:25:26 am by chatpolka
Comments (2)  

Saturday, November 18, 2006
Non-stop

It's the fourth week now.
Four weeks....
I have been working non-stop for four weeks.
OMG.....
Am I testing my endurance or trying my limit?
None of the option....

Just trying to clear as much work as possible.
As December will be approaching...
Many colleagues will be going on vacation.
As I have used up all my vacation leave.
So this year I have to stay back to face the work.
Hence, trying to clear as much as possible.
Hopefully as December approaches
there isn't as much to do so it will not weigh me down.
With the limited manpower and resources currently,
trying my luck to push the work over the mountain.
In order not to get accumulated over to next month.

I am really really very exhausted.
But will push on to have a easy life over next month.
Gamba de.


Posted at 7:28:34 pm by chatpolka
Bombard me with....[Comment]  

Sunday, November 05, 2006
Her Final Words

Just heard a "story" earlier on that gets my adrenalin going.
Felt the urge to pen down this story before my memories fade.
What I am going to write shortly may sound absurb or rubbish to many.
As what I would be typing shortly I believe she's here around me to witness it.
But I do believe the story....

I had a dream of mum a few days ago.
Much as I would wanna know her well being.
But she just seem so distance away.
Manage to get near her and held her by her arm.
She's just so cold and can't get to see her face.
No matter how hard I tried she just won't turn around.
By the feel from her arm I can sense she has suffered.

My mobile rang and I got awaken by it.
Then for the next few days I tried getting into the dream.
But I just don't get to see her anymore.
My heart just felt uneasy for the past few days.

Today my heart just simply felt very easy and peaceful.
Just cannot explain why?
After work went to dad's place for dinner.
Upon arriving met Big Bro in the Living Room.
Sat down to chat with him.
While chatting he mentioned something about mum.....
Which got me excited to hear more of it.
And he starts relating the whole story.

Big Bro had just came back from a business trip to Thailand.
While on his trip as usual he would go to the temple to pray.
When he was at the temple to sought the blessing.
Suddenly the medium spoke some language that's not undertandable to himself.
As Big Bro can converse in Thai so he tried to ask what had happened.
Finally, he make up those words were actually in Teochew.
Translating to be "Need your assistance".
On asking the medium who needs assistance?

The medium said to Big Bro,
"Do you know there's a soul had been following you all the way from home?"
Big Bro got a shock and silence for a moment.
Big Bro then asked,
"Where is the soul now? Who is the soul?"
Medium: "The soul is just standing at the doorway with two others and is a lady."
In order to testify....Big Bro asked alot about the soul in order to confirm the identity.
After asking many questions the picture get pretty much clearer.....

Big Bro:"How does the soul look like?"
Medium:"She sports short length hair, wearing a grey coloured cheongsam, holding a string of beads chanting but feeling very uncomfortable...."

Big Bro:"Can you ask her to speak my language so that I can understand her?"
Medium:"Yes, she will speak your language."

Big Bro continued to ask, "What can I do for the soul?"
Medium:"The soul had came all the way to sought the help of me to ask you for a favour...."
Big Bro:"What is it that she need from me?"
Medium:"She said she had been suffering and burning......"
Big Bro:"Why are you suffering and burning?"
Medium:"Because my tablet had been placed in the wrong position."
Big Bro:"Why is it so?"
Medium:"Because I have yet to attain the level of The Way so shouldn't be position at that same level. Hence, I am punished for that."
Big Bro:"So how can I help?"
Medium:"Do set me a proper place and I will be glad and thankful....I need to go now."
The medium just release himself from the trance and back to his normal self.

The encounter just puzzle Big Bro as much.
Not gonna to lose this opportunity to get connected to understand more.
Big Bro decided to go back again on the next day.

On the second day,
Big Bro:"Teacher, can you please get connected with the soul again?"
Medium:"I'll try....."
The medium continue to chant and pray to connect....
Medium:"I am here. What is it that you want to know more?"
Big Bro:"Do you remember what had happened to you?"
Medium:"I had a lowly death...."
Big Bro:"Why is it so?"
Medium:"Let bygone be bygone...Do not rake up the past. Let's move forward. Do not be sad for me anymore. Whatever the family had sent (burnt) to me I had received them all and have enough of them. Do not send me anymore."
Big Bro:"OK....So how have you been feeling?"
Medium:"I'll be very relief if you can do what I had asked of you. Currently, I am very good and no more of the sore or pain on my knee anymore. I'm perfectly alright."
Big Bro:"So do you have anymore things to ask of me?"
Medium:"I have been practicing The Way and have been enlightened. So I am waiting for my time and chance to be reincarnated once all is done. Since I'll be achieving my enlightment so please do not offer me any more meat as offering."
Big Bro:"I'll remember that and will fulfill your wish..............................................."

The conversation continues...............
The medium came back to normal.
Big Bro:"How does she look today?"
Medium:"She's looking perfectly very much better than yesterday upon knowing her wish will be fulfilled. And she's on her way to enlightenment."
Big Bro:"How had she been living along all this time?"
Medium:"She's been very lucky. The rituals, prayers and scriptures that you all had done/sent for her had helped her to escalate her enlightenment pretty fast. That's very good for her as she had suffered less in the nether world......................"

The end of story.

Absurb or rubbish to many as it may sound.
I chose to believe the story.
And knowing that this could be the final word from her.
Mum....I believe you are around me right now.
Rest assure that I will not shed another tears on your advice of your final words.
I'll make sure you have a happy journey for your enlightenment and reincarnation.
I'll love you always and continue to pray for you.


Posted at 10:47:44 pm by chatpolka
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